然后怎样

我终于, 突破了自己.
果然, 不经一事, 不长一智.
发觉, 相信自己, 才是最重要的.

昨天的心情, 一言难尽.
只能用一首歌来形容.

Mission

All of a sudden
Studying abroad seems to be the most important thing
Struck us like a thunderstorm, leaving a chaotic mess.
Everything is full of uncertainties.
Plans are being made; lives will change.

It all started when 'the centre of our universe' came over and set the ball rolling.
I wanted to curse him, but I will thank him.

And so, I'm on a mission.

Half Truths

My dearest friend,
You have been telling me half truths and white lies.
But I believed you.
A part of me understands, if you will not tell me everything; but another part of me is puzzled, why wouldn't you tell your best friend about your true condition?
I heard that your friends are all worried about you.
I instantly got worried.
Just how serious is it? Should I be worried?
I fear you might have told me half truths again.
But you said you are fine.
And I believe you.
You told me not to worry, and I really didn't worry.
I have that much faith in you.
I hope, however, that you will not take advantage of our distance.
Will you tell me the whole truth?

no internet

For some reason I don't care to explain, I currently have no Internet connection at home.
So, I'm just using the computer lab at HELP.
They don't let us watch videos here though.
But fortunately, can download songs. =P

So, I guess I won't blog much during this one month.

I actually wanted to blog about something a few days earlier.
But now I just want to say this...
How could someone push all my wrong buttons in just a few hours of conversation?

Anyway, I'm feeling the pressure of doing a UOL course.
><

Suck it up!

Imagine you were me:
Having class, paying attention, eager to learn, not wanting to miss even a word the lecturer says, wishing you could digest/absorb everything the lecturer is teaching you.

Then, you hear this...

"Sir! Let's call it a day."
"Sir! That's all for today."
"Sir! Raining oh..."
"Sir! Tired lah sir..."

and other petty excuses people use so that the lecturer would let the class off early.

So, imagine you were me.
You would be PISSED OFF.

That is not all.
Imagine you are talking. Then, somebody cut you short, and asks you something insignificant.
Worse still, that somebody drops some silly remark---which, I suppose, is meant to be funny.
That is what happens to my lecturers.

I don't know what my lecturers think.
But that is so damn RUDE.

So, imagine you were me.
What would you do?
Keep quiet? or speak up?

Bear in mind that many others share your opinion too.
Unfortunately, nobody chooses to speak up.

So, my dear friends, if you know me well, you would know what I did.
I took the first step, however small it was.
[Yes, unfortunately, it had to be me.]

The lecturer was letting us off. He was, thank goodness, finished with his lectures.
"So, your homework is..."
"Sir! Don't want lah!"

That did it. I said, "Shut up!"

Frankly, I do not know if the particular person heard me.
But people behind me told me I said it rather loudly.
I suspect my lecturer heard me, though. After all, I sit in the 1st row.

So there. I spoke up.
But, I should have said this instead:
You signed up for this. Suck it up!

Charlie bit me

Here's a fun video I'd love to share.
You'll find it most enjoyable, if you love kids =D

My favourite moment was when Charlie chuckled, and Harry said "Charlie bit me" with a smile.

If Today Was Your Last Day

This song goes to everyone and anyone who needs an inspiration.



Nickelback - If Today Was Your Last Day

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day

身在福中不知福

有些事情，实在看不过眼。
但事不关己，只好保持沉默。
也只能叹一句，“身在福中不知福”。

My first week as a degree student

I haven't been online for a couple of weeks.
I think some of you friends are starting to miss me....haha
Or...more to the point, you want to know how I've been doing.

The first week of classes in the UOL programme...
There is just one word to describe it ----- OVERWHELMING

The reason, is because of the programme itself.
There is also one word to describe this ----- CHALLENGING

The expectations are so much higher than anything I've ever experienced.
And me, I want to be a top student.
One of the few things I am proud of myself is my academic achievements.
It just proves that I am good at something.
So, I want to know if I am good at this.
It is challenging, but exciting at the same time.

Speaking of exciting, Sociology comes to mind.
Principles of Sociology is one of my core subjects.
It's all about reading, understanding, critical thinking, and more reading.
It is all very complex, and I shall tell you more when I learn more myself.
But it is the most interesting subject I have in Year 1.

Ironically, I find that I could fall asleep in my Econs classes.
I actually dozed off for a few minutes today!
Is that indication of my interest in the subject?
Or just plain cold that freezes my brain over?
Haha...just kidding...I have absolutely no regrets choosing this course.
But my classroom is truly very cold, and I cannot stand cold 'weather'. Seriously.
Furthermore, it was a 3-hour class. Furthermore, I think I didn't get a good night's sleep.
OK, I'm babbling. It is obviously my fault that i fell asleep in class. More excuses will only make me all the more guilty.

And the Mathematics....
I love it.
My lecturer is damn good too.
I actually said this to my friend, "If I had a teacher like this in school, I'd be great at Maths."
Not to say that I'm not good though....haha

I met Bro yesterday.
A thought crossed my mind. OK, actually, 2 thoughts crossed my mind.
The first would be, we don't talk that much when we see each other. It's just so weird, considering that we are such good friends.
Come to think of it, our friendship is pretty much an 'online relationship'.
It was built online.
HAHAHAHA
We chat a lot online, but we don't chat that much in real life. Well, that is because I only get to see him a few times a year anyway.

And the 2nd thought, he isn't that much taller than I am, maybe taller by an inch or two?
Mind you, I wasn't wearing high heels. Just my B.U.M equipment.
OK, no discrimination here. I was merely momentarily reminded of how tall we are.
Right, he's not gonna be happy about this. I hope he doesn't kill me. I hope he doesn't even read this. HAHA

And did you read about the news on USM?
I do not know how much of what they said were true. Apparently there was a technical error. 4574 students thought they were accepted into the apex university, when apparently they were not. They were just in the list of students who fulfill their requirements, and didn't cut it to the 3599 places offered at USM. 3599 to me, sounded like the price of a piece of furniture at some furniture store...My sister actually laughed at that.

My cousin Grace was one of them.
That was just so unfortunate. Though I would say fortunate for us family members.
If she got into USM and got the course she wanted, she'd be sent to Kelantan.
Man, that's like another planet entirely.
Anyhow, I hope she gets UKM or UPM, and of course, the course that she wants.
But I think, now that the USM has done them 4574 students wrong, USM should ensure that each and every one of them gets a place in other universities. Don't you think?

Where I am studying after this

The dilemma of me having a blog, is that on one hand, I can let my friends know about whatever I want them to know; but on the other hand, the whole world can know about it too.

Haha...that's just saying that there are some things I don't wish too many people to know.

And my dear best friends, a few of you have remarked on my 'conference'. I will tell you now that it is quite impossible for me to do that, and so I will just have to approach you individually. =.=

And Brother, how did you know that I wanted to talk about my future studies?
If you hadn't been busy with your exams, you would've known by now.

The May intake for Bachelor of Psychology has already started.
So why am I not in college?
The answer is quite simple.
I have changed my mind.

Why have I decided not to study Psychology?
The answer to this one, I'm afraid, is not that simple.
Let's just say that I know what I am not capable of.
I will leave it as that.

So what am I going to study then?
I have already registered to study Economics & Management in the UOL external programme at HELP.
It is a tough programme, I am told.
But the manager of the department seems to think that I am one of those promising students. Let us hope that he is right.

Folks, do not worry.
I have thought long and hard about this, and I have sought opinions from my parents, my uncle, my cousins, even their friends.
Econs feels right to me.

Conference?

I imagine...
that every single one of my best friends would like to know what is going on with my life right now

Some of them do know a few things...
but none of them know everything...

So I'm thinking...
maybe I should just call a damn conference...

wth

so Bro, Xuan, Jon, Mel, Ken...when r u guys free? =p

What I want...

I live in the now. I don't look back into the past, and I don't think much about the future.

So what kind of life do I want in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years?

Man, dear Alwin sure is helpful. Truth is I don't think/function that way.

But still, it's great to listen to others. Their perspectives broaden my horizon, that's for sure.

And when I've gathered enough information, I'll do this my own way.

On hiatus...no more

yo, wat's up?

haha...i noe
it's been more than a month since my last post....

of course, there'd been lots of things happening in my life in this one month's time....
in fact, there are so many things i don't even know where to begin....
well hell, i don't even know whether i'll blog about anything at all....

so...folks....
do u wanna noe about....
my final exams?
my results?
my holiday activities?
my family vacation?
my health?
my new course in life?

every question has an interesting answer and a story behind it...
seriously

if you're interested enough...
u should ask me about it.....
haha
coz i've decided that since i'm long-winded, they would be really long stories....
and i'm not up to writing long stories now...

best of luck to everyone having exams soon....and everyone going into degree courses

Am I always there for my friends?

I met up with my best friends.
The three of us sat and talked for two and a half hours.

For a person who has been emotionally detached from people around her for quite a while, it was great to talk to friends again.

Yeah, I’ve been locked in my own selfish world lately, with just me and my Korean idols in it. Sometimes, when I see people I know, I feel like running. I just don’t feel like saying hi to them.

Perhaps it is because none of the friends I see every day can really see me as I am.
So it was really great to chat with them.

But then, as we talked, I realized that there were things they know of each other, but unknown to me.
I felt left out.

It is foolish. But I have to be honest with myself. It is better to accept the feeling, than to deny it.

I hope, however, that they did not notice my disappointment, because my feelings had nothing to do with them.

I just wonder, if I am a selfish friend, too absorbed in my own world.
Am I always there for my friends?

Ps: If you really think that I would have harsh words to say about your video, think again.

PDP

PDP is Peer Development Program.....
It is one of the assignments for my Psych subject....
Basically it's just doing research on a topic, write a report and present it in about 30-40 minutes...
Of course, it's a group work.
On top of that, we have to choose one group and do critique on their presentation....

Well, since I cannot do a critique on my own group, I'll just do it here.
haha....no no kidding

Actually I've just finished my presentation an hour ago.

I think I should make a mental note on what I've learnt through this experience.
Teamwork

I'm not saying that my group did badly...
We did pretty well actually...
In fact, I wanna thank my groupmates for tolerating my procrastination...
and for their effort in making this assignment work =D

It's just that we had little communication, each doing our own parts, not knowing what others were doing....
and it had to be too much burden for that one member who contacted everybody...
So I think, that we would have done better if we worked as a team.
Well, I blame myself for not being initiative in communicating with my groupmates.

Nevertheless, it's ok. Because we grow as we learn from our mistakes and improve on our weaknesses.

Do I sound lame?
haha

-out-

Dilemma

I feel like a kid, afraid of getting caught lying.

Should I tell the truth, and face the punishment; or should I create a bigger lie, and get a chance to get away with it?

I suppose that facing the problem is the only way to solve it, but me being me, I go around it.

28/30

I'm not sure if I should be blogging about this.
Because I would sound as if I were boasting, or perhaps even showing off.
Well, I'd tell you that is not what I mean, but this is what really happened.

I had my macro quiz this morning [ok yesterday morning coz it's past midnight]
and if you've read my previous post, you'd know that I was drooling over SuJu and not studying.
and so I only spent an hour or two before the quiz to cram everything about AD-AS into my brain....

First, you have to know that we use some computer software to do our quiz...
and our marks will be shown once we click End.

I didn't expect to score high....
so I myself was stunned by my score
28/30

great.....now all my classmates are gonna kill me

Blame it all on Super Junior!!!

E.L.F.s all over the world are going crazy!!!

alright...I don't necessarily call myself an E.L.F., but I am definitely a SuJu fan.

Super Junior has finally made their comeback this week.
First, they released the digital single 'Sorry Sorry' on monday....
[and then I went crazy]
and then they released the album 'Sorry Sorry' on thursday....
[and then I went crazier]
and then they performed on Music Bank and released the mv for 'Sorry Sorry' on Friday night...
[and then I don't care anymore]

omg....I don't even sound coherent!!!
I'll tell u why I went crazy.
The song is definitely addictive!!!!

and I'll tell u why I went crazier.
The album is, surprisingly, rather good, and worth buying!!!!!

and I'll tell u why I don't care anymore.
I kept waiting.....waiting.....waiting.....and waiting for the mv to come out.....
kept googling 'super junior sorry sorry mv'.....but nothing came out....
kept doing that for 2 days I tell u......2 days
n when it's finally out....I wasn't even online.....wth

and I'll tell u how crazy I can be.
I was gonna have a macro quiz the next morning, but I didn't study, instead I went and analyze the mv.....
crazy hor......

aiyo...Super Junior is damn distracting!!!!
I couldn't concentrate in class......and I couldn't focus for the whole week!!!!
yes....Blame it all on them!!!
and no Super Junior...u should not be singing Sorry Sorry....u should be saying Sorry Sorry to us fans!!!!

But I love u none the less!!! =P

I AM SICK

Mr Alex was right.

I AM SICK.

I'm sick and tired of ppl telling me I'm very 'geng', just because of my results.
I'm sick and tired of ppl asking me tons of questions, just because they think I am better than them.
I'm sick and tired of ppl calling me smart, just because I know my own way of studying.
I'm sick and tired of ppl giving me too much credit.
I'm sick and tired of ppl having too high expectations of me.
I'm sick and tired of ppl judging me.

Because they just add to the shame and guilt I feel, for not living up to my own expectations.

I am sick and tired of myself, always criticizing me, but not doing anything to make me a better person.

I am sick and tired of myself, for judging me so harshly.

I was sick?? o.0

Tuesday was the due date for my stats assignment.

Unfortunately, I hadn't even started writing my real assignment till midnight. I had my answers, but I just hadn't pen it down.

So, I spent my whole sleeping time completing my assignment.

And that explains why I dozed off in macro class.

But here's the funny thing......

My lecturer, Mr Alex, was very considerate.
[In fact, I would say that he was very cute XP]

He said I was SICK.
[Goodness....he even made an excuse for me!!!!!]

Now, come to think of it....was he trying to make me feel GUILTY???

Well then, if that was the case, he damn well succeeded!!!