Move Along

The sad part about LP is:
They are the best friend who knows exactly how you feel. They understand you.
But they don't teach you how to get out of your misery.

Perhaps I should stick to listening to more positive songs from other bands.

The best example being The All American Rejects 'Move Along', which inspired the name for this page.
When all you gotta keep is strong
Move along, move along
Like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along
Just to make it through
When everything is wrong, we move along
Right back what is wrong, we move along

Or Coldplay 'Fix You'
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Crawling

Linkin Park. My favourite band.
If I remember correctly, the 1st time I heard them was on TV, performing for a reward show.
They performed 'Crawling'. At the time, I wasn't into rock music, and it was too noisy for me.
Although later I saw 'In the End' on TV and instantly liked it. LP was cool.

And then came 'Meteora', their 2nd album, my all-time favourite.
And I have been a fan since.
When you're an adolescent you have a lot of anger, frustration, hurt, disappointment.
I'm sure everyone can relate to the lyrics in 'Numb'.
LP expressed all those emotions so well I thought they were genius.

For a while, I thought I'd outgrown LP.
But when things started to go downhill, I came back to them.
This time, I find new meanings in the lyrics.
And, I find the song which best express what I feel is, surprisingly, 'Crawling'.

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling, I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense in confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)

Burden

Hopes, expectations, belief and love.

People draw strength, motivation and drive from them.

To me, they all translate into pressure, a great burden.

And I, of little self-confidence, threw it all away.

自暴自弃

I have never fully understood the meaning of self-destruction, until this day.

Suffice to say that you won't find the motivation to change, by making your situation worse.

贼！

死废柴。良心被狗吃。天打雷劈。不得好死。小心恶有恶报。

唔是你的就唔是你的，贪小便宜，小心你损失更大，得不偿失。

衰到贴地，等你无得翻身。

老天爷最好打你入十八层地狱，等你求生不得，求死不能。

咒完。GOD forgive me.

VERDICT

and I got death sentence.

what do I do now?

and how to break the news?

TV...离我远一点

This is supposed to be study month.

So how come I'm spending my days as if I'm on holidays???

Crap...

I needa get my priorities straight.

YOU STAY AWAY FROM THAT TV!!!!!

everybody Fighting! =)

Super Show II, Live in KL

I know. This update is rather late, but I didn't have the opportunity to do this earlier.

20th March 2010, I saw Super Junior live.
I sang, laughed, screamed, jumped and even cried with them.
I had a blast!

Apart from my faulty Sapphire Blue glow stick (there goes my money), everything else was perfect.
But of course, I didn't take into account that, to our lasting regrets, Kangin, Hankyung and Kibum were absent.

I don't think I need to talk about what went down, you can easily find those in reports by the media.
The most important thing to me, is how I felt, and to treasure the whole experience.
I believe that is what SuJu want as well.

I cannot even begin to describe my excitement.
All I can say is, when LT and I ran out of the stadium, we were ecstatic!
Laughing and talking like 2 crazy people.

Well, first of all, I will say: I LOVE MY SEAT!!!
That's where one of the 2 raised platforms was and we got 3rd row.
I got to see my idols standing just metres away from me. A lot of the times facing me too!
How COOL is that!
Every single one of them came to this corner and I had a good look at each, especially Yesung, Sungmin, Siwon, Heechul and Donghae.
I didn't know that Yesung is so slim.
Sungmin is very handsome.
Siwon posed for the Thai fan a seat away from me, great expressions.
I saw Heechul smirk! Wicked!
Donghae is just sweet.

I suppose each of them must be 'in charge' of a corner, so I was worried I'd not see my favourites up close.
But Eunhyuk and Eeteuk didn't disappoint us (me & my sis =P), they eventually came during encore.
Eunhyuk is actually not short; he's CUTE.
Eeteuk is exactly like how I usually see him in videos.
Kyuhyun took a fan's phone and took a picture with it! I envy her!
Our seats were so near that we're sure there were moments when a couple of them saw us. Yeah, actually saw our faces.
Min Ee might kill me for this. During the last few seconds of his solo, Yesung looked in my direction. It felt like he was singing to me!!!
I'm completely star-struck.

Another thing I loved about the concert was the fans, ELFs.
The Pearl Sapphire Blue ocean, was an incredible sight.
The love we all have for SuJu is simply overwhelming.
Loved it when ELFs sang along to every song they know.
And man, can we all scream!
The opening was when I truly experienced the effect of 15000 screaming fans.
It was DEAFENING. I seriously couldn't hear a thing.
I'm sure SuJu loved it.
Speaking of which, close to 3 hours of constant screaming nearly gave me a sore throat.
Honestly, I was sure that I'd lose my voice after, but it works fine.
I think I screamed till I went beyond my limits, that my screams were sort of 'upgraded', brought to the next level.

But the best part was when they sang Shining Star.
They played a video before the song, of each of the members saying they appreciate ELFs' love and support all these years.
I was already tearing up when I saw that.
Then thousands of fans took out their flash lights/LED mini bulbs, to create 'shining stars'.
It was a touching moment.
I saw Eeteuk, at the centre of it all, crying.
That right there, was when I truly felt the bond between us, SuJu and ELFs.
We love them, and they were letting us know that they love us too.

I thank ELFs, for being there, for being a community.
I thank SuJu, for putting on a great show, for bringing us all together.
The BEST CONCERT I've ever been to.
And I thank Eeteuk, for bringing everyone over to this side of the stage when they said farewell!
사랑해요 박정수!!!


The memories of the concert will stay with me always.
Love Super Junior ^^

Do your best

It's been a while since I've blogged.
These days I just feel bad.
I wasn't going to share those bad feelings.
But well, it's good to let it out sometimes.

I don't know how I turned out to be like this.
Idling around, looking for insignificant things to do, caring about other people's business, wasting time.
Generally, avoiding things I have to do.

It's bad. Really bad.
In fact, worse than ever.
I think I hate myself.

It wasn't too long ago when I had 100 days to my exams.
Now there's less than 2 months left.
The sense of urgency is getting more intense by the second.

I need to pass the ultimate test.
I need to break through my own weaknesses.
Otherwise, there's gonna be a next time, and I'd be worse than I am now.

I'm not useless.
I shall do my best to prove it.

NOTICE: Change URL

Hello people.
I am changing my blog URL.
The new URL: www.rightbackwhatiswrong.blogspot.com

haha...yes...u just have to change 2 words. (rite --> right ; wat -->what)
actually the reason is very simple.
I used my hotmail to sign up when i opened this blog.
Now I want to change it to my gmail account.
Very 'ma fan' loh... everytime i sign in gmail my blog will automatically sign out one...
It's ok if u don c the connection... hahaha...

So, please remember to change the URL if u have linked me in ur website. =D

100 days countdown

Whee~~ We got the GIANT Super Show 2 poster!
Thanks to my sis' friend who also helped with buying the tickets.
I think it's as big as our Linkin Park poster...maybe bigger.

Yee Theng said there's 100 days left to our exams.
Translated: OH NO...I'M DEAD.
That is...if I don't do something about my studies. =.=
Ok. It's do or die.

Always keep the faith

Today is JaeJoong's birthday.

Hahahahah...that was random.
Yup, I know the birthdates of every single member of TVXQ and SuJu. XD
In case you don't know who he is, he's Hero from TVXQ, always in the middle.

There have been rumours of disbandment (TVXQ) , and I'm not sure what to believe.
But I do believe, that deep down, they are together as one.
I feel it from their singing.


Haha...it's fine if you don't get it. Many don't.

"Always keep the faith"
Micky and Jaejoong had these words tattooed on their chests.
Was it a promise between them?
Or a silent plea to fans to believe in them?
Who knows... But fans like to think so.

In any case, they are the ones having the hardest time.
I hope they really keep faith in themselves, and in each other.

I'm so excited. HAHA

I never knew that I could be like this.
Xuan told me this a couple of years ago too; I laughed at the time.
Now, I'm saying this to myself.

I never knew you could be so crazy over idol singers!

At the time, she was talking about Dong Bang Shin Ki.
Today, I'm talking about Super Junior!!!

To people who don't know it yet:
Yes! SUPER JUNIOR is coming to MALAYSIA!

Super Show 2
20th March 2010
Stadium Putra Bukit Jalil.

Woohoo, we got the tickets!

Coming back to my statement, why did I suddenly have such a thought?
During break in Econs class today, my friends asked me about the seating plan of the concert, and we started talking about it.
I got so excited I couldn't even concentrate later in class.
To the point where my hands were shaking and my heart was beating faster than usual.

I mean...
Man, I got so worked up I couldn't believe it myself.

I wonder how I'd behave if it was Dong Bang Shin Ki instead.
They did come 2 years ago; but I had SPM and it was impossible for me to go.
It is regrettable, not being able to hear them sing live, but I think I traded that with an A1 in Bio.
HAHA. It's all about opportunity cost, isn't it?
Not too long ago, I learned that Kher Ye got free tickets to that concert and went with her mother. Plus, she got good seats. T.T
The only thing I can say is, Kher Ye, why didn't I know you at that time?!

I didn't think that SUPER JUNIOR would have their concert in Malaysia.
I hope it's super successful so they would come again in the future.
Well, so far, it's been optimistic. Hundreds of fans turned up yesterday to buy tickets, so I'm guessing they're selling like hot cakes.
My sis told me about the concert on Saturday, saw an article on the newspaper.
I read the papers on Sunday, and I told her, I want that giant poster!
It's said the organizers are giving 500 free giant posters for every purchase of 2 tickets.
Pre-sale started yesterday, only available at Sungai Wang.
So my sis went there around noon and MAN, SUPER SUPER LONG QUEUE!
I was having socio lecture, but at the same time worried about my ticket. We were buying numbered seats so it was crucial we get our desired spot.
So I kept texting her to get real time updates, haha. Sorry Dr Chin ><

I heard it was chaotic out there. There was only one counter.
They didn't even set up lines for queuing.
The number of staffs, credit card machines and computers were just too few.
And, you have to fill up a form before you buy the tickets.
So it was very damn slow. In the end it took my sis more than 4 hours to finally get the tickets.
Blame it on terrible management and horrible customer service!
Or shall I say, underestimating the popularity of SJ and the power of ELFs???
On top of that, you have to queue again on the 31st to get the poster. LIARS.

Well whatever, most important thing is I'M GOING. Haha.
Some people might be puzzled, how I can spend RM458 on a single concert without even thinking about it.
I think, that watching thousands or millions of videos of them on Youtube, doesn't add up to an experience of seeing them perform live.
Sadly, this time, not everyone is coming. I don't get to see all 13 members.
Kibum doesn't participate in Super Show 2; Kangin has been 'frozen'; Hangeng has contract issues. And some say Heechul might not come.
Damn, I really want to see 韩庚. He is one person I really admire.

Here's a side story before I end this post.
Yesterday, I was talking about the concert with my friends, during break too. Haha.
Dr Chin was writing notes on the board, and he turned around to ask us, 'Are you talking about a show?'
I said, 'Concert.'
'Whose concert?' he asked.
'Korean boy band', I answered.
He said, 'You are his (maybe he thought it's one singer) fan? Well, that's interesting.'

Mind you, we were having a class on cultural globalization.
It is interesting. If it weren't for technological globalization, I wouldn't be able to become a Kpop fan. And so Korean culture is influencing me; I'm contributing to cultural globalization. o.0
We are at the mercy of globalization.
Can it be stopped? I don't think so.
The more important question is, how do we deal with it?
As Dr Chin pointed out yesterday, globalization comes with a price, the question is whether we are able to pay it.

My New Year Resolution

When you think of new year, you think of new year resolution.
Well, maybe not. Haha.
But this brings back memories.
William (my former english tutor) used to tell us to write our new year's resolution (essay), every year without fail.
I only did it once, in Form One. And that wasn't even an essay, just 10 separate sentences.
After that, I didn't complete any essays.

It was all meaningless to me.
Or perhaps I was just afraid that I'd get disappointed at the end of the year, when I failed to fulfill my goals.

So, what's different this year?

Before that, let me tell you something.
My regular sleeping hours are 4am - 1pm (whenever I don't have class).

So, this morning around 9 something, I was in my brother's room playing his NDS.
My dad came in, and said to my bro, "New year, new beginning."
And the kid asked, "What does that mean?"
Dad: "Like your sister here, new year wake up early. So it's a new beginning."

The truth of the matter is, if you see me up and about by 9 o'clock in the morning, there are only 2 possible reasons:
One, I'm either going to class or I'm going out.
Two, I didn't sleep.

So, Dad inspired this.
My new year's resolution:
Adjust my sleeping hours

ps: Happy New Year! =P

My full time job

My full time job, you would guess that it's STUDENT.

And it should be so.

But sadly, it is not.

The correct answer is...

二家姐

Job description:

To put up with my brother, a pain in the ass.

Job requirement:

Patience + Humour

Benefit:

Amusement

Disadvantage:

Irritation

Income:

None Whatsoever

I think I'm good at my job, because nobody else understands him the way I do.

However, it gets tiring.

If somebody calls you "二家姐!!!" every other minute, and demands something from you, you'll know exactly how I feel.

Plus, he's LOUD.

If his favourite word is "二家姐", then mine should be "BISING".

On top of that, he has an impossible personality.

My full time job is 二家姐; his full time job is 管家仔.

Everything concerns him.

Example, if you eat out, he asks about your meal the minute you get home.

But the most annoying thing he does, is saying "做咩" about a hundred times each day.

If you ask him something, he answers with 做咩.

If you tell him to do something, he asks you 做咩.

If you tell him something, he also asks you 做咩.

Even when you're saying nonsense, he says 做咩.

Despite all that, I still love my brother (my boss), 管家Kin. =P

Standstill

That first step you take is the longest stride

But my problem is, I don't take the next step.


I've seen people hurting by thinking too much.
I hurt myself by doing nothing.

Different sides of me

Family = People who see the bad/worse side of me

Friends = People who see the better side of me

Others = People who see whatever they want to see in me

19 going on 20

I was struck by a sudden realization, while rereading the Twilight saga, that my time as a teenager is coming to an end.

Bella wanted to be frozen in her teens, before she turned 20, because Edward is forever 17. Haha.

Friends! We are turning into our 20s!

How about that, huh?

Haha. It actually doesn't bother me much.

Rather, it gives me one less reason to remain a kid.

Okay, maybe that does bother me a little. o.0

I was wondering about what is left of my days as a teen, when I backtracked and relived the year.

It sure was eventful, but lonely as well.

Foundation to Degree.

Psychology to Economics.

Local to Abroad.

I don't like change. Especially transformations that were not initiated by me.

It really is a blessing and a curse, to have an elder in the family who would stir up my life, in the name of fatherly love.

Manipulative, that's the word. And it irritates the hell out of me.

Still, a blessing and a curse.

On another note, I realized that the world was getting lonelier.

My parents don't see past my obvious flaws.

My friends are growing distant physically and intellectually. Sunway, Singapore, UK; Arts, Science, Social Science.

My relationship with sister was regressing towards roommates, as we were submerged in our own personal problems, and rarely shared them. [Note the past tense]

And my broken mirror nicked me time and time again with his self-centredness and lack of faith, reminding me of his pain, hoping I could fix him up.

In any case, nobody felt the need to share their inner thoughts with me, so I felt the same.

Not even bothering to BLOG about anything at all. It was lonely. =.=

One other thing that I would regret is I idled away a lot of my time. A LOT.

I'm ashamed to talk about how I wasted my time, so let's just leave it at that.

Urgh...my guilt is eating me up.

Regardless, I still learnt. Stumbling all the way towards adulthood.

Pray for a better me.

Irony

I know of a person, who very much wants to study in UK.
But, her parents are against the idea. They cannot support her financially.
Besides, she has 3 younger siblings who are still in school.
Regardless, she still wants to go.

I find it ironic, because I was the complete opposite.
My family were the ones who told me to go ahead; while I was the one worried about spending their money.
And I struggled for so long, to find the right reasons for me to want to go.

If I were her, I wouldn't even think about it.
That's why it's so ironic.
But I am in no position to discourage her.

This is one of those times when I should be grateful of what I have.
And it reminds me of a phrase my former lecturer once said, "Thank God life is not fair".

UOL Annual Dinner

Last Friday, the UOL department had our very first annual dinner at Hilton KL, all thanks to Dr Chin and the students in charge.
It was fun, I had a great time with my friends.

That was the introduction.
Actually Cousin Grace was bugging me to share photos on Facebook.
I didn't know I have to create an album to post photos there. =.=
Besides, if I post them on Facebook, almost everyone will see them.
I prefer more privacy than that.
So here, photos taken on my phone.

My first attempt at putting on make up on my own. Not bad gua...haha...actually cannot see the make up right?

Food was not bad. Desserts were better, and there were lots of them.
My friend Kher Ye, who always sits beside me in class.

And a cute Kher Ye in the toilet. haha

Keng Fai and Kher Ye.

Keng Fai and me. Unfortunately, I only took photo with one guy. haha

Shangari, the only Indian girl in our class.

Pamela and me. The only 2 girls in our Sociology class, may intake.

Serene. Looks very pretty holding the rose.

Min Ee, me, Weng Yan, Li Foong. Socio freaks.

This is blurry, but I like it. I think Weng Yan squeezed in a moment too late. haha

"2pm!!!" Min Ee, a.k.a. Mrs Nichkhun. Also loves Super Junior, FT Island, SHINee, etc etc... [but only certain members =.=]... A Kpop fan, and I can speak Korean with her! haha


And last but not least, my Ah Sou, Yee Theng. Pretty, isn't she?
Bro, I like her. =P